Exes ain't friends...

Okay...this is something that took me a while to understand myself, but it is making more and more sense as I get older. I can remember a conversation I had with one of my exes about her not understanding why we couldn't be friends after we broke up. There are many emotionally-driven reasons that I could give her for this question at that time, but I am a creature of logic and wanted to offer logical reasoning as it is easier for me to justify (personally speaking).

So let me first say that I believe two people of the opposite sex CAN be platonic friends. I also feel two people with "history" have the potential of being friends, but I believe it to be a lot harder to maintain. First of all, history always includes memories. Memories always bring nostalgia. It's the nostalgia of great times past that can be an issue when one or both people involved are having troubling times in their current situations.

That however is common sense. Let's say that two people with history CAN effectively overcome the nostalgia affect. If one or both people are currently in new relationships, there will definitely be a major distraction issue to occur...but not necessarily with each other. I know first hand that being in a relationship with someone who decides to remain friends with an ex can and more than likely will be a distraction for that person. Regardless of how great things are going or how trusting you are to that person, there will always be a little uneasy feel about the friendship. I also know first hand that being the "friend" in that scenario is never really accepted as a friend by the new boyfriend. A lot of times the friendship is not a problem for the two friends, but more of a problem for the new relationships.

I said long ago that I would not make any other guy go through the uncomfortable situation that I went through by trying to impose my friendship on someone I have history with. It's best to allow that person the full opportunity to make or break their relationship without outside influences. Hopefully (but unlikely), I hope others have the same respect for me in any future relationships I have.

As always, these are just my thoughts.