Taking charge and giving up control

I was talking to a friend of mine tonight. She was frustrated that her new guy wants to hang out but never makes plans to do anything. She felt like he should "take charge" in planning something for them to do. I felt the need to educate her on a possible reason for this behavior.

Let me first say I am a firm believer that NO woman truly wants a man to "take charge" in anything. Sounds funny, but I really feel this way. One thing that most of the women I've met share in common is the need for control. For this reason, they seem to always look for the things they would have done better to criticize instead of truly giving the plans the benefit of the doubt. For these women, allowing the man to "take control" was more about taking the opportunity to ridicule instead of taking part of what he's wanting to experience with her.

However, I want to play devil's advocate and say that there is a woman out there who doesn't mind relinquishing control momentarily (hypothetically). She has to understand that men have trained themselves to want to do what makes the woman happy. This is a habit created due to past experiences, society's views, and folklore passed down from fathers to sons across the world 😁. It is taught that it's in our best interest to ask what she wants, to only do things that she likes, and possibly even just let her plan it.

So if you are that one woman that's against the grain, you have to understand that there are some things you may have to do to help him get there. He has to feel that you are genuinely interested in the things that he likes to do. He has to feel that his plans won't be met with complaints and judgement.

I told my friend this. Her response was that she would be okay with that. She would make the best of whatever they do...although they may not do it ever again. My response was YOU may never do it again. He will, just by himself behind your back.

Please understand...these are just my thoughts.