Many women feel they are so knowledgeable of men to know what motivates them concerning women...and they feel that singular thing is sex. Actually they couldn't be more wrong.
For most men, sex is VERY important. I'm no different in that regard. However, sex is never the motivation but simply the resulting factor of a collection of motivations. Men are no different than women in the fact that we value specific things in life and relationships. We search for things that are important to us individually. It may be support, passion, peace of mind, intimacy, attention, control - the list goes on. Sex is just the physical manifestation of the presence of said things. When men cheat or shutdown in a relationship, it is almost ALWAYS because they aren't usually getting something they need in the way that it is meaningful to them...which is much like the excuse women give. I believe the only difference between men and women in this regard is that women will most times tell you where they are unhappy whereas men usually hold it all in (another product of society's view of manhood).
A lot of women will not understand this or agree with this. A lot of women feel they give everything they have to their relationships. Most women will say they were perfect. I would NEVER challenge their claims. I will however say that it is not what you give but how you give it. This goes for both men and women. For example, just because you feel you are being supportive in your own way does not mean that it comes across as support. It's quite possible that it is coming across as ridicule. This is challenging for everyone and shows the importance of communication and a desire to understand.
Interesting post; I have learned through life experiences and a lot of research reading about relationships and where it all stems from that men need to be respected and women need to feel loved. if the man is not respected, regardless of any circumstance, that he is going to react in a way of not feeling appreciated. if a woman doesn't feel loved, she is going to going to react in the same way. I am a spiritual woman reverting ALL aspects of my life to my relationship with God and what he expects of me as a woman. I have read what He expects of man as well...maybe this is a good starting point when you feel all is lost. God has reserved a hollow spot for his spirit to dwell within us. Allow Him into your heart and good things will follow.
ReplyDeleteI can agree with that. I know I have a need to feel respected. It's not the only thing that I look for, but it is probably one of the most important.
DeleteThis is where love language is a must. What you think is love may not be for the other person which is what causes more issues than most. What works for some does not work for all.
ReplyDelete